Love like Jesus

This week has been a test for me. I find myself often going through the motions, but not really "getting it." or walking it. Sunday we had a sermon on how Satan can plant the seed of doubt in you at any point in your life.. young or old, and he will just wait (he never sleeps) to keep "watering it" until before you know it- your Joy is stolen. He prays on our weaknesses. I had a test this week, and it is funny how God gives you the tools if you just look. We have a play book for life, everything we could ever want to know, yet I still am determined he needs my help. It is quite egotistical. The man who created a caterpillar (who has 228 separate and distinct muscles in its head.. and it is only a bug) needs my help.

I pray every night with the kids " I pray you will love like Jesus." I honestly do, that is my hope and my dreams for both of them. I know if they do, they will be alright. Yet, am I the best example? Am I selfless enough to step out of my comfortable life to help someone else, other than Christmas, and an occasional Church get togethers? Do people see me as a light or something different inside of me? The answer is humbling. I know the answer. I know in order to have my children love like Jesus, I could be their best example. And at times I find it so difficult.

I pray for my children everyday, though out the day... I pray He will protect them, thank Him for their health, love, all the blessings, home, Zach, our country.. yet I have to admit I am praying because I am worried and scared. I am praying to ease my fears, not to say I totally trust in You. I am really good at praying when I need something, but praising when I do not is not always the first thing on my mind.

So my New Years resolution.. a little late.. has to be "Love like Jesus." I know this is a random post, but I want my kids to know what the important things are in life. It is going back to one thing... not about things, but having a relationship with Him and having a caring, compassionate heart for others. I feel I am failing bc all my children do if argue over silly things, but one day I hope it will click. I know I have made a step in the right direction when I took EJ to the Dr two days ago and she wanted to get a sucker for "bubba" (since she got one. )I thought, "whatever, she will eat it in the car or ask for it later." I forgot about it and the minute I picked up Wyatt (several hours later) she said to him, " I saved you a sucker, here it is." and pulled it out of her hello kitty purse. My heart melted. Something so little, so simple. That is all it takes. (That moment quickly faded as we are not arguing over a toy light up sword for the gun show Papa bought..but I remember that moment where I was so proud and my heart melted.) Do I do that? Do I make God proud? What a feeling He must get when we do just little things, what if I actually did step out of my comfort zone?