This past week I have been on numerous adventures...All of them in dreams. I have had a lot of time to reminisce, gone on adventures, had nightmares all in the comfort of my own bed. I was a prisoner of Cymbalta. I am just going to get it out there, bc in a town like Midland if you say "withdrawl" next thing I know I will have CPS at my door for being on Crack! I decided a while back that I really needed to take control of my body and get off the meds I had been prescribed since Emily June was born. After she was born, we had 3 months of not knowing what was going on with her breathing and I was anxious. I had a hard time with my hormones and anxiety so my Dr. just decided to put me on a LARGE dose of Cymbalta to "level out my hormones." Then next thing I knew I was on 2 different thyroid medicines for having an under active thyroid (took 7 pills a day), pain killers, birth control etc. I am struggling with my thyroid, I have gained weight, lost hair, fight fatigue.. but I am hoping to see an endocrinologist at the end of the month to deal with that. Then, I am frustrated with myself, I research everything for my kids.. delay every shot they take, and yet forget to take care and research or ask more questions for myself. I had no idea my body was so addicted to a medicine. I cut my dose (after consulting my Dr.) in 1/2 last week then went cold turkey on Sunday. Sunday afternoon it hit... I literally thought I was going to die for a few days. I laid in bed as still as I could bc any slight movement (even blinking) sent a shock wave through my head and down my body... then came the nauseous moments, cold sweats and sensation of bugs crawling under your skin. Why am I being so honest? It seems after you have kids, the first thing Dr's want to do is put you on some form of anti-depressant. I am not against this, it did work and help me.. (although I was really numb for the past year I was on it.) Just find out what the side effects are, the dosage amount, the withdrawls etc., alternatives to drugs... etc. This has been hell. It is like getting off a street drug without any help. I am still dizzy and wake up with a headache.. but looking forward to getting my energy back. I am fortunate bc I had help this week from my husband, dad, MIL, etc - otherwise I could not of done it.
I know this is not the "prescribed" way to do things, and I may be as big as a barn before I figure out my thyroid problem... but as least I have emotions and body again. I am not writing this for any kind of sympathy.. but hopefully someone else will realize how addicting the drugs are that are prescribed to new moms for "hormones". They are written out so easily without any discussion other than "Look at this sheet and tell me how many of these you can say "yes" too." Just be careful.
I would love to blog about last week, but it is a blur... WE did head over for a much needed play date on Saturday morning. Laura took pictures so hopefully we will have those to post. Emily June was all over Sam.. kissing him, hugging him, saying " I love you." I might be in trouble.... last week it was Brock and Jay. Please say no, because that would call for some drugs for sure! JK.
Emily June Doss.. hours old. Mommy still looks like the drugs are in her system!
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